Sunday, December 25, 2016

The Naked Truth Revealed: Sign’s You’re in an Emotionally Abusive Relationsh...

The Naked Truth Revealed: Sign’s You’re in an Emotionally Abusive Relationsh...: ABUSER  don’t come in a package that says “I’m an  ABUSER ” they come in many different packages some small, large, cute, ugly, nice, s...

Sign’s You’re in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

ABUSER don’t come in a package that says “I’m an ABUSER” they come in many different packages some small, large, cute, ugly, nice, sweet, well-dressed, with money or without money, handsome, fashionable, quite or loud, etc. but REALIZE they all come and you have to figure out how you’re going to handle them when they come your way… Read on and if you see some of the signs of an ABUSER in your current relationship  you need to RUN in the opposite direction NOW!!!
  • Both Men and Women can be VICTIM’S
It is important to remember that while emotional ABUSE is often thought of as being committed by a man against a woman, women can also emotionally ABUSE men, or between members of a same-sex relationship.  Emotional ABUSE isn’t acceptable in any relationship at anytime.
  • It Can Get PHYSICAL
If you are in an emotionally ABUSIVE relationship, there is a good chance that eventually things may get physical.  At first, the ABUSER might pull your hair, push you, wipe your makeup off, or grab you so hard that you bruise.  These are only the warning signs of things to come in your further.
  • Controls YOU through Emotions
An ABUSER is a grand manipulator and will sulk, threaten to leave, and emotionally punish you for not following their idea of how things should be.  An ABUSER will try to make you feel guilty any time you exert your will and assert what is right for you.  At times the ABUSER may appear to be apologetic and loving but that will only last until he/she feels you have forgiven them.
  • Is extremely JEALOUS
A prominent trait of ABUSER'S is their jealousy. An ABUSIVE partner or spouse is often jealous of you, other people and even your dreams and goals. Their jealousy and rage over intangible things like your aspirations stem from the lack of control they feel over those aspects of your life
  • Expects You to Be a SERVANT
An emotional ABUSER goes through life feeling their entitled to be treated like royalty, and wants you to be a willing servant. He or she expects you to do everything and will not help at all.
  • PUNISHES You for Time AWAY
This goes along with the isolation technique, where ABUSERS want you all to themselves. If you do go somewhere or do something without your partner, or even if he or she goes along but others are also there, an emotional ABUSER will punish you later. An ABUSER may shout, insult, threaten or worse, all because you were not exclusively hanging out with him or her.
  • Instills FEAR
If you feel fear around your partner or spouse, there is something very wrong. ABUSERS may try to intimidate you with violence, dominance or power tactics. For example, intentionally putting you in possibly harmful situations, or showing you their gun collection and stating they are not afraid to use them.
Not all ABUSER'S use drugs or drink excessive alcohol, but many do. An addiction can lead to erratic and inappropriate behavior. Substance ABUSE can be a gateway to emotional ABUSE and an unhealthy relationship.
  • Blames OTHERS (YOU)
If your significant other always blames everything on someone else, namely you, this may be a bad sign. If he or she throws a tantrum or attacks you verbally, he or she will say it was because of you. It is not a sign of a healthy relationship if your partner never takes responsibility and never admits to being at fault.
  • Verbally ABUSIVE
If someone calls you derogatory names, even if they say they are joking, they mean to hurt you and keep you in line.  ABUSER sometimes cover themselves by blaming you, saying that you need to lighten up or that you are too sensitive.  You are not too sensitive; you are feeling in your gut that this is not the way you should be treated
  • Isolates YOU
Emotionally ABUSIVE spouses want you all to themselves. They do not understand that you have a life outside of the relationship – one that includes family and friends. It is healthy and normal for you to hang out with other people as well, so if your partner prevents you from doing so, this may be a sign of an emotionally ABUSIVE relationship.

Note: I’ve been in an ABUSIVE relationship’s before and this man showed almost all the signs of an ABUSER after months of dealing with this I made a choice not to be with him anymore. Life is just to short to be with someone who treats or speaks to you in a negative way.  ABUSE can started as early as childhood it could be the way your Father or Mother treats you. This will set the standard for how you will allow others to treat you later in life. If you look at your pass relationships you’ll see your future relationships. The only way to change what you’re in is to change the way you think about you.  Now, it WON’T be easy because as human beings we always want to go back to what is comfortable or what we know best but it’s not always best for us. The first thing you have to do as a person who is being ABUSED is realize it and make a decision to change it because the longer you allow it the worst it’s going to get. Believe me when I say this it’s not going to get better because the ABUSER doesn’t think they are doing anything wrong to you. And know this if they’re doing it to you they have done it to others. You may think or even say that you can change them but in realty you can’t change another person the only you person you can change is you. Make the change because someone needs to see the change in your life in order for him or her to change his or her life.  It could be your child, sister, brother, grandchild or a friend… No matter how attractive, wealth, young, old or smart a person is, he or she can be a victim of emotional ABUSE and they can also be the ABUSER.  I wanted to write this at this time because this is the time of year when there's a lot of ABUSE going on in relationships.  I wish that know one ever had to deal with ABUSE but that's no a reality but it can change if you're will to stand up and open your mouth about what is happening to you.  

SMOOOCHESSS!!! until next time

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Thursday, August 13, 2015

LOVE is worth the FIGHT!!!

It's always my pleasure to write this blog
because to deals with real life and real issues
In today's world people forget to be selfless it all about what they have and what they want but what you need to remember is if you get everything you want and have all you desire and have no one to share it with, "what have you really got?"  We are human beings an what that means is that we're meant to have a partner/mate in our lives.  Love isn't easy but it's always worth it if your in Love the the right person.  Know that in this life nothing is easy but if it's Love it's always worth fighting for.  You may think that you're to good to fight or even make ass out of yourself for someone you Love  but the truth is it's when you make an ass out to yourself that the other person knows how much you Love them.  My thought is this you make an ass out of yourself for everything else in your life your job, business, kids, family, friends, etc. so why not the individual you say you Love so very much.    You see Love is and isn't a choose an if you're going to ever have it and keep it you must take the risk or chance on getting a few bruises but in the end you will be just fine because you have the one you truly Love.  Ask yourself this question, "Is having the person you Love worth being a little uncomfortable at time?"  Be very honest with yourself because know one wants to be alone forever.  Take your time to figure out if you've allowed others to make your Love choices and if so... why? Do they know you better than you know yourself?  Can they make you happy when you're alone?  Are they given up the Love of their life for you?  Or they with their Love and your home alone?  Think hard about these questions because they will give you answers you may not want to realize.  

Sometime you see individuals an say to yourself or maybe even someone else they don't match or she's with him for the money or he's with her for sexy but what you don't understand or know is that their together because of the Love they feel and have for one another.  And, that's stronger than physical thing or material thing.  Yes, you have individuals who are together for those reason but they don't usually last very long because sooner or later one of the individuals will always want more out of the relationship.  I've been on this earth for a little bit and I've learn that if you don't have Love you don't really have anything.  You were made to Love and be Loved so don't try to stop what really comes natural to you and every other individual.  We are build from Love so why it that we think we shouldn't want to be Loved.  You see people need to realize that it's okay to Love someone so much that you will do anything to make them happy and bring them joy because they do the same for you. When it comes to your relationship you must remember it's you and that person you're in the relationship with an that's it outside individual don't really matter because they don't know what you have with your partner/mate...  We all must remember that "relationships is hard work but it's always worth doing and worth working for" with the right individual.  I know individuals that have spent their whole life looking for the right person to Love and haven't found it yet an what they don't get is that Love has come to them but they weren't will to do the work to have Love and that's so very sad.  You maybe passing Love by because it made you a little uncomfortable when it doesn't look like what you thought it should or would.  While what you need to know is it's not always about getting your way it's about give and take what that means is sometime you have to give more than your get and take more than you want to sometimes.  Remember, your mate does the same thing with you also you just don't realize it because you maybe in your feelings about something that's going on between the two of you.  As I said before I've been around for a little bit and I've seen a lot of things but the one thing I know for sure is that without Love in your life you will always have a whole in it and you will spend more time trying to full it with empty things that don't matter at all.  Again, it's not always easy but Love is always worth it and you must remember why you wanted to be with an individual in order to keep it together.  We all get really busy with our life situation but we must never forget about our Lover, friend, partner, mate, etc. because at the end of the day being alone isn't all it's cracked up to be.  When you've had true Love and you know what it is you'll always want more of it.  Love can give you a high that no drug or substance could ever fill and to think all you have to do is open your heart to what's in front of you.  Because I can promise you this when they aren't there anymore you'll be left wondering why there gone and it's because you forgot the most important thing in your life.  I get it Loving someone else may not be easy but if it was easy then everyone would be doing it... when Love comes your remember not to hold back and give it all you've got take the risk because surely it's worth the chance.  You may just find yourself happier than you've ever been and that's always worth the risk.   Loving another individual isn't easy because you both are different but because you're different you can see life it such a beautiful way and that's through one another eyes.  Remember a Love worth having is a Love worth fighting for...